Penguins have taken me hostage!

sleeepingalone:

how am i not tired of reading about the same two people falling in love in 5000 different ways yet

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captainarlert:

midoakas:

spiraling—maelstrom:

midoakas:

im sorry

WHY IS THIS SO FUNNNY FUcK

I Am Glad


sissy that walk
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ryenross:

me: hey i’m kinda good at this writing thing
*reads other people’s writing*
me: i am a literary potato

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nicklugo:

Spanish is a beautiful language. You don’t say “I love you” in Spanish, you say “yo quiero comer culo” which translates to “you are the light of my life” which I think is one of the most beautiful things to say to someone

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fabulousviscountdruitt:

nO WAY
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thurstin:

I think the best part of being a woman is the sexual security that we have. I mean like even a straight woman could know that she’s not interested in women, but she can still sit on another girl’s lap and hold her hand and maybe even kiss her if they were that close. If two guys even make eye contact with each other they have to screech “NO HOMO” at the top of their lungs to make sure everybody knows that they are not gay. 

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churchofsterek:

gallifreyslocked:

when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’

everyone lost their shit and i got second place

If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something

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